Coming Clean

So today I had my first "planning" session with Magoo re: Wednesday's show (which he is hosting for TK). It was totally fine. As a matter of fact, it didn't bother me at all. Found myself staring at the grey hair he's getting, and all the lines on his face. Ok, maybe I am being HARSH but it's true. Our affair was a while ago so I was kind of inspecting him. He looks like a man who runs around and cheats. We were sitting closer than we have in years, talking more than we have in YEARS...and I discovered something. The fantasy Magoo was definitely more interesting. This person I was talking to today couldn't possibly interest me. Now I wonder if only I had tried to talk to him years ago...maybe I wouldn't have felt so hated all the time. I don't think he hates me. He probably doesn't think anything about me except wonder if I'm going to go all Dark P on him suddenly. I told Sheyam when I saw her this weekend that I stopped him in the hall Friday to set up today's meeting, and that sometimes I catch a look on his face that's like..."should I talk to her? should I ignore her? Is this going to be weird?" If I was Lois-ing me, I'd say that is ME projecting thoughts onto HIM. Hey ya never know. Ask anyone who knew me back then. One other note--Z made me think hard about how I hadn't told Paul about Magoo. As I said, I told him the story but didn't mention the guy's name. Well the other night in the middle of a discussion about what Paul's going to do about his BITCH of an ex, I decided to tell him about Magoo. I said, uh...he's an "ex". A what? You know, an "ex". Paul waves his hand around. I don't want to know about your exes, he says. Pause. He takes a long drag of his er, "cigarette". "Wait a minute...THAT guy? You mean, THAT guy?! He looks like he could be your dad!" As I told Z today, five years of therapy for me...two minutes for Paul to think about Magoo and see the light.