Serenity Now
So when I saw S last weekend, she said I seemed more "serene". I would like to give the credit strictly to my change in jobs, but I HAVE been taking the happy pills for more than a year now.
Although Paul did say to me yesterday that I haven't talked about looking for another job in two weeks...well, I've been busy with this new gig. I'm kind of enjoying the ride for the moment. It's not what I want to be doing but I don't leave the office a bundle of nerves with a headache, complaining every night to Paul about how much I can't stand it.
I started to write that I don't care about my career. That's not true. I just don't know where I want it to go. I know it's not here. I read a novel by the late Wendy Wasserstein over the last two days (when you're sick, that's what you do). And I know she was this great playwright and intellectual, etc. etc. etc.
But when I finished it I thought...I could write that. It was about New Yorkers, post 9-11. All the characters had money, they were awful, most of them...I wouldn't write about that but I got her basic point about how everyone dealt with it differently. I could do THAT. (And I really don't mean that I would write about post-9/11, just that I COULD.)
I have to get off my ASS. I guess what I'm really waiting for is that uh, down time I think I'll have when I have a kid (naturally or by adopting)...when I can watch them and write my book. Although Diva said to me that in her writing class she's discovering that publishing a book usually means not that much money. I suppose it's like acting. There aren't that many Brad Pitts or Angelina Jolie's out there.
I would settle for being the uh...Parker Posey of the literary world. Although she lives here in NYC and I know she isn't rich. But she's got to make enough money to have a nanny, eh?
I can't be the Chloe Sevingny of the literary world (although I'd be trendily dressed) because her work is kind of unsteady (although she kills in that HBO series about the polygamist).
Oops Paul just walked in! Gotta log off this. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH he brought me flowers!
Although Paul did say to me yesterday that I haven't talked about looking for another job in two weeks...well, I've been busy with this new gig. I'm kind of enjoying the ride for the moment. It's not what I want to be doing but I don't leave the office a bundle of nerves with a headache, complaining every night to Paul about how much I can't stand it.
I started to write that I don't care about my career. That's not true. I just don't know where I want it to go. I know it's not here. I read a novel by the late Wendy Wasserstein over the last two days (when you're sick, that's what you do). And I know she was this great playwright and intellectual, etc. etc. etc.
But when I finished it I thought...I could write that. It was about New Yorkers, post 9-11. All the characters had money, they were awful, most of them...I wouldn't write about that but I got her basic point about how everyone dealt with it differently. I could do THAT. (And I really don't mean that I would write about post-9/11, just that I COULD.)
I have to get off my ASS. I guess what I'm really waiting for is that uh, down time I think I'll have when I have a kid (naturally or by adopting)...when I can watch them and write my book. Although Diva said to me that in her writing class she's discovering that publishing a book usually means not that much money. I suppose it's like acting. There aren't that many Brad Pitts or Angelina Jolie's out there.
I would settle for being the uh...Parker Posey of the literary world. Although she lives here in NYC and I know she isn't rich. But she's got to make enough money to have a nanny, eh?
I can't be the Chloe Sevingny of the literary world (although I'd be trendily dressed) because her work is kind of unsteady (although she kills in that HBO series about the polygamist).
Oops Paul just walked in! Gotta log off this. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH he brought me flowers!
posted by Scorpio | 4:20 PM
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